Goldens Adventures In An Inferno
by Midnight Crew
Summary: Never heard of Golden? Well you will now. Spades and M.C are here to tell you the tale with their own witty and not so witty remarks in between.
1. Chapter 1

Spades stared at M.C, "Holy shit, you played with fire and it burned you. Do you feel like, betrayed or something because of that?" she asked, looking at the wrapped burn on M.C's arm, ignoring the look of pure annoyance on his face as she poked it only to have her hand slapped away.

"I was not playing with fire, I was working and accidentally pressed my arm against the broiler when I was cleaning," he said scowling and gestured to the audience, "You choose now to comment on it? When we're about to start the review?" He demanded.

"Oh right! A new story!" Spades shouted, remebering happily as she leaned back in her seat. Her cheerfulness was so powerful M.C was flinching and gagging in his seat as a result, "It's called Golden's Adventure by Ender Falls the Endermite!" she said reading the note card and grinning from ear to ear. "A Gravity Falls story!"

M.C rolled his eyes, "We hadn't seen Gravity Falls in a while so we actually had to rewatch a few episodes just to refresh our memories of the characters and show."

"Dipper sneezes like a little kitten," Spades said laughing and earning a swat to the back of the head. "Anyways let's get this review on the road!"

M.C stopped her by grabbing her jaw with his hand and looked at the crowd, "First, since I forgot to announce in the announcement on Face the Strange, our two Warrior stories are also on hiatus. Due to the fact that we have no fucking idea where we're going to go with them."

"Yeah," Spades agreed nodding her head, "We started to feel that we were just dragging the story out with Ebonypaw and Stonepaw's story. So we may just delete it and wrap up The Blazing Comet," she said with a small shrug.

Now it was time for the review.

* * *

I'm going to get so many flames.

**Actually, did you? I don't think stories that point blank say they're trollfics get that many flames.**

This is a TROLLFIC. It is supposed to be bad.

**They're fun at first but takes a lot of effort to keep up~**

Please, please, _please _make one of those things where you comment on a trollfic.

**Are you talking about something like this?**

**Well abra ka-fucking-dabra your wish is granted.**

That's pretty much all I have to say…

**And now it's-**

**Story time! Story time story time!**

**...story time.**

Hello, my nme is Golden Butter Waffle Beautiful

***Twila Flash Backs*...'beautiful'...?**

Stunning Awesome.

**That's a...really long name.**

**Okay, I can understand teh first name being Golden, but 'Butter Waffle Beautiful Stunning' as a middle name? Were her parents on crack or something?**

**What the Hell kind of last name is Awesome!? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF MIDDLE NAME IS BUTTER WAFFLE?!**

**I think it's an unspoken rule that Mary Sue's must have freakishly long names.**

I came too Gravity fails on vacation.

**You heard her, you're at Gravity _Fails_ not Falls.**

I lived on da streets fart away from Oregon.

**I didn't know a fart could be used to measure distance.**

Dis is how I came two gravity falls.

Dipper and mabel wer sittn around da shak, and dey wer very board.

**What type of board? Be specific.**

**Are they wooden, cardboard, plastic?**

Den, GOLDN WALKED INTO DA SHACK!111111

**CUE SUDDEN CAPS!**

Gloden was sooooooo beautiful dat Dipper fell in love wuth her in to secs.

**Wait, wait wait! what about Wendy?**

"What are u doin her" askd Mabel,bcause Dipper was sooooo in luv dat he forgot how too talk for a few secs.

**No M.C's right, what about his love for Wendy?**

"I'm her to lock around sad Golden."

**You're here to look around yourself while being sad?**

So Golden locked around da shack.

**Is she looking for something in specific? Magic wands...toads...nukes?**

Diper loked at her. She was sooo pretty.

**We get it. She's a mary sue who's super pretty.**

"Hey wat too go on a dat" he askd.

**For some reason my brain was translating that as 'hey wait too go on a date'. **

"OMG YES!" Sad Golden.

**You just met him.**

And so dey walked oout of da shack. Mabel was made!111111

**Made of what?**

"I don't wat my bro to date Waffles," sad Mabel. "I hav to stop her."

**No one wants a relative to date waffles. You can't date food.**

**Go Mabel! Woot we're rooting for you!**

Den… GIDEON WALKED INTO DA SHACK!11111111111

**Ugh I hate this guy.**

"Hey Mabl, wnt to team up to get rid off Golden?" He sad. "Ok." Sad Mabel. AND GIDEON AND MABEL WERE GOING TO DESTROY GOLDEN!11111

**We're rooting for you two!**

Yes, I just had Gideon and Mabel team up. Now I'm going to flee from the flames.

**Good luck. But why would you want to flee flames? Fire is amazing.**

**Except when it burns you because you were playing with it.**

**I WAS NOT PLAYING WITH IT!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Well guys," Khaxan said from where the security guard sat on stage, "If ya aven't 'eard already, the Midnight Crews on a hiatus,"

At the sound of booing he held up his hands.

"Ey now! Not there fault! The two o' them got pretty busy this year; college tours, ACT and SAT studies, scholarship unting. They don't got the time ta get together n' write."

A pause.

"They'll get back here tho, so just keep en eye open, got it?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:**

Guess who's lunch periods finally lined up so now they can work on stories while having lunch? M.C chose not to tell anyone in the Face the Strange story about this important piece of information.

"Jesus Christ this chapter is short," M.C commented with a frown as he read over the chapter, quirking an eyebrow slightly as he looked from it to Spades, "At least we can get through this one quick, I mean it's not like super long like that Favia story, or is her name Flavia?"

Spades grinned and shrugged, "Don't know, don't care," she responded and looked at the crowd, "Look! M.C got his hair cut! Look at how short it is!" with that she began ruffling his now shorter hair, her smile growing wider and wider in delight as her best friend struggled under her.

"Hands off! Hands off!" M.C yelled trying to push her away, "It's just a damn hair cut! Let's do the review already!"

Spades let go and as quickly as she could spoke; "We're sorry if we mess up neither of us watch much of Gravity Falls so some things we may not get!"

* * *

Yes, I'm updating already. And forget what I said last chapter. Fire is cool.

**Fire is love. Fire is life.**

**Fire is what makes M.C happy.**

But it's kinda easy to get burned, by, say, a boiler.

**Dear god I know! I got burned on the broiler my first week at work!**

Golden and Dipper wer walkin gin da park. Den, dipper sad

**First line in and I have a headache from the spelling.**

" Goldne wanna go on dat?"

**Yes, do you wanna go on dat? *Points at an horse***

Den Gloden sad " No" and Dipper waz sad.

**Dipper was sad, M.C was mad.**

**Spades was glad!**

Golden sad dat she might go on a date wif him sonn,

**Soon? How soon?**

and dipper wax happy aspirin.

**Dipper waxes happy aspirin. Okay. We know what his job is now.**

Den… GIDEON AND MABL APPEARED!1111111111111

**Oh God don't remind me of Gideon teamed up with her.**

Gideon yelled at Dipper and Goden and Mabl thrw Waddles at Golden,

**Wait, all three of them threw Waddles at Gideon? Not that I'm complaining.**

**But isn't Mable working wtih Gideon?**

butt she missed and Waddles hit Dipper in da face!11111

**Learn to aim.**

"Ow" sad dipper. Dey ran away and hid in da forest. Dey hid in a tree. Dey neded a plan.

**Dey also need to stop saying dey**

**And use complete sentences, that wouldn't hurt.**

* * *

Golden got out da books, because she hade all there of dem.

**She's got all three books. Why the hell does she have all three books?**

**Summon Bill.**

"Ok" she sad, looking through the pages. "Wr need to defeat Gideon and Mabel." She found wat she neded. "Loook at dis" She said to Diapper. "We ned Rumble McDonalds"

**Don't you mean Rumble McSkirmish?**

**No, she's right. It's Rumble McDonalds. Ronalds disowned brother.**

So dey went to da acrcade. Butt, dey were being SPIED ON!

**Of course their being spied on.**

**It's a spy story, watcha expect?**

**It's not a spy story.**

**It's not? Whoops, I'm in the wrong story then!**

Jeff da gnome climbed down da tree. "Ok, I got da imfo, now gimmie a limousine."

**You can get a limo just by spying on those two?**

**I'll take the job! I want a limo!**

So Gideon and Mable gave Jeff da car, and began to think. MENWHILE... Golden an Dipper wer at da acrade, and dey went to da Rumble game.

**Dey got beaten up and their money stolen and Golden thrown out of the story.**

And den, DEY SUMMONED RUMBLE MCTACOBELL!

**McTacobell?**

**THATS NOT EVEN A REASONABLE SPELLING ERROR. **

"Yur pretty." sad Rumble McCometblaze. "No," sad Golden.

**Way to automatically turn them down.**

**At least she doesn't lead him on like all other Mary Sues.**

"You aref from video game!" Den rumble McPancakes started to cry.

**Crybaby.**

"Please help us." Said Goldne. "Ok" Sad Rumble McDarthVader.

**OKAY NO! MCDARTHVADER? SERIOUSLY NO**

"Kawii" Sad Golden. (A/N I dn't now wat dat wrd mean, butt it souned col, soo I putt it her.)

**Jesus Christ! A troll author who doesn't know what Kawaii means?! The world is ending!**

**I never thought I'd ever see someone on the internet deny knowing what that word means.**

AND SO DEY WENT OF TO DEFEAT TEH EVIL GIDEON AND MABL!

**But then Satsuki Kiryuin appeared and kicked everyones asses because she's a boss!**

I spent a loooong time coming up with Rumble's name. Nope, I totally didn't forget how to spell his name and replace it with random words. Totally.

**Lies!**


End file.
